In the present climate of professional sports at least two things are imminent: endless steroid allegations surrounding Major League Baseball, and the embarrassment of a New York Knicks squad that grows with each wretched performance and Larry Brown / “Starbury” backpage feud. The latest developments in these two feelgood sagas? Barry Bonds is apparently suing Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, authors of the new steroid exposé book, Game of Shadows, and the Knicks lose yet again, 98-94 to Minnesota, and fall 31 games under .500 (19-50). This after being routed in consecutive games by Memphis, 91-75, and the lowly Magic, 111-87.
It would be real easy to point at both of these situations and find purely negative things to say about them. Things like, say, Bud Selig’s tenure as the commish is beginning to mirror certain of our country’s other “leaders” in that everything he touches turns sour. Or, the Knicks games' television ratings are struggling to compete with NBC's Joey. However, being the Armchair Sports Authority that I am, I will not permit myself to cop out and take the path of least resistance. Nope, that's just not me. Rather, I’ve made a wholehearted attempt to find the positives, that's right, positives that deserve some consideration. Here goes:
The New York Knicks . . . Okay, the Knicks have, um . . . The Knicks are a basketball team that . . . Hmmm. This might be more difficult than I imagined. Let’s move on to Bonds. We’ll come back to the Knicks later.
Barry Bonds' rising star. After all is said and done, when Bonds has taken his last cut in the majors and hangs up his cleats, he is ensured of a promising career in show business. Or, at least a place on VH-1’s The Surreal Life. That counts as show business, right? This seems to be the logical order of things, the next step in a career of ballooning biceps, majestic home runs, and books filled with allegations of performance enhancing drugs. There’s no denying that seeing Jose Canseco, fresh off his circus-like book tour, parading around the Hollywood Hills in drag was nothing short of pure television magic.
Some may scoff at the idea of Bonds’ prospective quasi-celebrity status, citing countless examples of the slugger's inability to interact with journalists or find comfort in front of the cameras and bright lights. But let's not forget one important fact: Bonds already has significant television experience, and it arrived on the set of a little show called Beverly Hills, 90210, one of the highest rated television series of the ’90s. Anyone who has ever seen Bonds’ portrayal of Barry Larson, a man paired with Steve (Ian Ziering) and Rush Sanders while participating in a father/son charity golf tournament in the 1994 episode “Cuffs and Links”, understands the magnitude of Bonds’ dramatic potential. The heartfelt sincerity in Barry’s voice as he pleads for Steve and his father to settle their differences away from the course shows us that Bonds has what it takes. Instant clout in the industry.
Okay, that was easy enough. Bonds showing his acting chops. Right. Now let’s shift gears and go back to the Knicks.
The New York Knicks. Well, they don’t have Rolando Blackmon starting at point guard anymore. So they got that going for them.
Hey, it’s a start. Right?
3.23.2006
3.06.2006
Yanks Don't Fail Me Now
Now that the World Baseball Classic is underway, baseball games that actually mean something have begun earlier in the season than usual. Well, sort of.
While my two lovely cohorts have chosen to vent their feelings on the inaugural WBC festivities, I quite honestly just cannot endure any more distractions before the real season, the Major League Baseball season, commences. Sure, I'll watch the WBC whenever I get the chance. I'm actually looking forward to seeing how all the major leaguers blend in with their native comrades. Though the system has its share of flaws it still looks to be an enjoyable, competitive experience for all involved. But watching Al Leiter attempt one last grasp at glory for Team USA won't stir me to wave the flag any more than watching allied forces lay waste to third world countries will.
For me it's all about the Yankees at this point, and not much else. They've been far too cruel in toying with our emotions the last few years. Here's what my baseball reality looks like:
The putrid showing against the Florida (Are you serious?) Marlins in the 2003 World Series? It never happened. The unfathomable four-game comeback by the Boston (Oh my God, it still hurts to say this.) Red Sox in the 2004 ALCS? It never happened. The meltdown against the Los Angeles (Weren't they owned by Disney? I hate Disney. And I hate their new name, too.) Angels of Anaheim in the 2005 ALDS? That's right, it never happened.
Last year was looking so promising. A-Rod with an MVP season. Giambi hitting titanic walk-off homeruns again. They even found help from the farm with the stoic confidence of manchild Chien-Ming Wang and future star Robinson Cano, the first time that's happened since Jeter. Okay, so Ricky Ledee had some clutch hits in the 1998 playoffs, but he's become the quintessential journeyman with a career .246 batting average.
This year the Yankees have no better motivation for winning it all than the words of Mr. Steinbrenner, who all but guaranteed a World Series win. Some will point to the acquisition of Johnny Damon as the key to winning this year, as Damon brings the much needed presence of a true leadoff hitter to the lineup much in the same way as Chuck Knoblauch did in '98. Throw in a more comfortable Randy Johnson and a rejuvenated Jason Giambi and you can't lose, right?
But let's not look merely at what the Yankees added in the offseason. Let's look at what they subtracted. The 2006 Yankees will be thankfully void of overpaid, concrete-punching, chronic Doan's-popping, crybaby veteran pitchers. That's right, Kevin Brown officially retired. Even though his contract with the Yankees had already expired, my eyes still became misty with joy when I read that in the Post. What an albatross.
Look, Yankees. No excuses. Stop fooling around and just win the World Series this year, okay? I want nothing more than to attend the Ticker Tape Parade through the Canyon of Heroes on Broadway. Is that too much to ask?
While my two lovely cohorts have chosen to vent their feelings on the inaugural WBC festivities, I quite honestly just cannot endure any more distractions before the real season, the Major League Baseball season, commences. Sure, I'll watch the WBC whenever I get the chance. I'm actually looking forward to seeing how all the major leaguers blend in with their native comrades. Though the system has its share of flaws it still looks to be an enjoyable, competitive experience for all involved. But watching Al Leiter attempt one last grasp at glory for Team USA won't stir me to wave the flag any more than watching allied forces lay waste to third world countries will.
For me it's all about the Yankees at this point, and not much else. They've been far too cruel in toying with our emotions the last few years. Here's what my baseball reality looks like:
The putrid showing against the Florida (Are you serious?) Marlins in the 2003 World Series? It never happened. The unfathomable four-game comeback by the Boston (Oh my God, it still hurts to say this.) Red Sox in the 2004 ALCS? It never happened. The meltdown against the Los Angeles (Weren't they owned by Disney? I hate Disney. And I hate their new name, too.) Angels of Anaheim in the 2005 ALDS? That's right, it never happened.
Last year was looking so promising. A-Rod with an MVP season. Giambi hitting titanic walk-off homeruns again. They even found help from the farm with the stoic confidence of manchild Chien-Ming Wang and future star Robinson Cano, the first time that's happened since Jeter. Okay, so Ricky Ledee had some clutch hits in the 1998 playoffs, but he's become the quintessential journeyman with a career .246 batting average.
This year the Yankees have no better motivation for winning it all than the words of Mr. Steinbrenner, who all but guaranteed a World Series win. Some will point to the acquisition of Johnny Damon as the key to winning this year, as Damon brings the much needed presence of a true leadoff hitter to the lineup much in the same way as Chuck Knoblauch did in '98. Throw in a more comfortable Randy Johnson and a rejuvenated Jason Giambi and you can't lose, right?
But let's not look merely at what the Yankees added in the offseason. Let's look at what they subtracted. The 2006 Yankees will be thankfully void of overpaid, concrete-punching, chronic Doan's-popping, crybaby veteran pitchers. That's right, Kevin Brown officially retired. Even though his contract with the Yankees had already expired, my eyes still became misty with joy when I read that in the Post. What an albatross.
Look, Yankees. No excuses. Stop fooling around and just win the World Series this year, okay? I want nothing more than to attend the Ticker Tape Parade through the Canyon of Heroes on Broadway. Is that too much to ask?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
