Did anybody see the outcome of last year's Yankees-Tigers ALDS match-up? I must have blacked out from watching Kenny Rogers (seriously?) baffle the Yankee hitters in Game 3. Until I hear differently, we'll just assume the Yankees pulled out the series with a gutsy performance in the next two games, then went on to win their unprecedented 27th World Series. Fair enough?
Since all is well in Yankeeland, let's shift to the complete opposite end of the sports spectrum. You guessed it. The New York Knicks. That's right, the city does maintain a professional basketball team, although that term "professional" is used rather loosely, of course, in this instance.
The Knicks' post-Isiah-contract-extension-freefall can be accredited to several factors which have plagued this squad in the second half of the season. Checking the box score after each game often reveals two glaring statistics in particular that best help to explain why the Knicks are threatening to post another 50-loss season this year: free throws and turnovers. While at the bottom of the league in both of these categories (16.3 turnovers per game; 71% free throw shooting), the Knicks have absolutely no chance in overcoming this season's most detrimental twist of fate: a barrage of injuries resulting in a current starting backcourt of rookie Mardy Collins and (gulp!) Lil' Nate Robinson.
While the Knicks have played undisciplined (and even thuggish at times) throughout the season, you almost, almost have to feel sorry for them. Now playing without Stephon Marbury, Jamal Crawford, Renaldo Balkman, David Lee, and Quentin Richardson (not to mention Stevie Franchise, who seems to play only when he's in the mood), this team looks downright sad trying to win ballgames. The handful of fans who still turn on the MSG channel to check in on their beloved Knickerbockers are greeted with almost unwatchable displays, the most recent being a 25-turnover effort against a team attempting to run up the score in order for stadium fans to receive free Big Macs for scoring 100 points. Did anyone see this? The Knicks' abysmal play actually almost jeopardized Chicago fans' longterm health and quality of life. Fortunately the Bulls fell two points short, avoiding the further clogging of fans' arteries and exceeding cholesterol intake. But, I digress.
While watching the first week and a half of the MLB season, I've managed to drum up a suggestion that might improve the state of things for the Knicks. Forget about more foolish offseason moves like overpaying underachievers (to save space here, I'll refrain from listing examples). The answer may lie closer than imagined; that is, just across the Macombs Dam Bridge in a little place called Yankee Stadium where a certain third baseman patrols the hot corner. That's right, I'm talking about A-Rod. The way he's been punishing the baseball so far, who knows what kind of magic he might create on the hardwood at MSG?
Stay with me here. Think about it. We all know about A-Rod's accolades on the high school football field, as well as his already established hall of fame baseball career. What most don't know is that he used to hoop it up a little. Listen to what Miami Westminster (and current Yankee) teammate Doug Mientkiewicz has to say about A-Rod's roundball skills: "We were a .500 team, but for the eight games that Al played, we beat the everlasting snot out of people." With such choirboy language, how can we not take Mr. Mientkiewicz at his word? A-Rod was that good. Right?
I don't know, maybe I'm conveniently overlooking A-Rod's history with crowd pressure and performance in big game situations. But until the Knicks actually play in a big game, there will be no problem. Does this team need more of Lil' Nate's "I can't believe he actually tried that in a game" circus shots? Or does it need some good, hardnosed hustle from a guy who many would say has the nicest-looking frosted highlights in a city obsessed with cosmetic image? Come on, this can't make any less sense than throwing money at Jerome James, right? I say, give it a shot. What I wouldn't give to tune into a game next season and hear the immortal Walt "Clyde" Frazier exclaim, "A-Rod! Mauling and appalling with his omnipotence!" To me, that would make up for at least half of another embarrassing Knicks' season.
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